Well, hello everyone!! I know the past couple months have been a little confusing for all of us when it comes to JTTW....my rhythm is so far off right now because I still don’t know when I need to have this thing written and I have no clue when all of you are seeing it. All I know is this…starting in January, you will no longer receive a paper copy of JTTW in your mailed bank statement. I know I tried to explain this whole situation a couple months ago, but now that we are outsourcing our bank statements, it has become very cost-prohibitive to include a newsletter in those mailed statements. SO…as a quick refresher, here are the 3 ways you’ll be able to read JTTW starting in January: 1) Through our online banking when you retrieve your monthly bank statement; 2) On the bank’s website (malvern.bank)…just click on the Jay To The World tab at the top; or 3) Email Cindy at cbowley@malvern.bank and tell her you’d like a physical copy mailed to you each month. Some of you might remember that last year I vowed to stop doing this newsletter when I turned 60 because NOBODY needs to know the rambling thoughts of a 60-year-old…and now that I’m two days into being 59, I’m still 100 percent in agreement with that philosophy because, as the old saying goes, I haven’t lost all my marbles, but there is definitely a hole in the bag…

Before we get too far into things, we need to have a quick conversation about the insane amount of fraud that is going on in the world right now. More specifically, it has come to my attention that several of our customers have been in situations where scammers have gained access into our customer’s computers and then convinced our customers to click on a link and to eventually give the bad guys their bank account information. We have had multiple situations where bank customers have come in to withdraw cash with the intent of purchasing gift cards that would be sent to the fraudsters. Thankfully, our bank staff is well-trained in situations like this and each time we were able to convince our customer that the whole thing was a scam and thankfully no money was ever lost. But please, be alert and NEVER give your account information to anyone, and please call us if you think you’re being targeted or if you have mistakenly given out any account information. We’ll notify the authorities and, if necessary, open a new account to ensure that your money is safe. But the bottom line is this: Like Rick Springfield once sang… DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS!!!

How about a quick multiple choice: A man was arrested recently for walking naked through the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport. The man told authorities that he did this because A) He was protesting the airport’s exotic animal display in the airport lobby; B) He was suffering from heat exhaustion; or C) He was hoping to cut down on the amount of time spent in the TSA line…

 And now the first-ever installment of ‘Has This Ever Happened to You??”: So I went to C&M’s last week and my order included a large Mountain Dew (have to have one every day)…and as I’ve made very clear in past installments of JTTW, I can’t see jack squat up close without my reading glasses and I don’t carry a pair in any vehicle. SO…I’m driving home and the MD is just staring me in the face so I take out my straw and start jamming it into the middle of the lid because that’s where the little ‘x’ is located…or so I thought…but after about 7 failed attempts I finally realized that the ‘x’ was actually located off to the side and now my straw was broke to the point where I was going to be sucking nothing but air if I didn’t flip it over so the cracked part was down in the soda. The point of this entire discussion?? Universal lids where the ‘x’ is always in the middle…problem solved

And now the second-ever installment of ‘Has This Ever Happened to You??”: So I’m standing in the concession stand line at Knoxville Raceway last month just minding my own business…hands in my pockets so nobody could steal anything…and the next thing I know there is something in my pocket that is so hot that it makes me think that I’m either being electrocuted or that my pants are on fire. Now granted, there are lots of people standing around me so I can’t make a scene…although I really wanted to make a scene because I thought I was dying. Any guesses as to what could have possibly caused this near-tragedy?? Well, I just happened to be standing about 6 feet away from the popcorn machine and somehow an un-popped kernel from that machine made its way into my pants. I literally have no other explanation…I didn’t buy any popcorn so it didn’t come from me. All I know is this…the next time I hear the phrase ‘is that a kernel of popcorn in your pants or’…oh wait, nevermind…that doesn’t really work here…

And finally (Part 1): Last month a 104-year-old Michigan woman completed her first skydive. Upon landing, the woman made sure she thanked everyone who made the event possible: Her family, her tandem-jumping partner, and, of course, the makers of ExtraStrength Polident.

And finally (Part 2): I just read this morning that the woman has since died…

Until Next Time…when I promise I will end this on a happier note.

Jay