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Welcome to October everyone!! I know I say this every year, but is there anything better
than fall in Iowa?? Especially this year…we’ve already had an abundance of days with
highs in the 70’s and lows in the 40’s and 50’s. It just doesn’t get any better than that
around here. Granted, we desperately need some rain…the threat of wildfires is definitely
higher than usual so hopefully all of our farmers will be safe as they continue the harvest.
And…as you all know, harvest season means…

Yep, it’s football season!! I just realized yesterday that I forgot to give my annual pigskin
prognostications in last month’s JTTW, so I thought I’d better start this month with my
college and pro picks for the season. Granted, we’re already several games into the season,
which means I’ve had ample opportunity to watch all of our favorite local teams play, which
as you all know hasn’t been very encouraging if you’re a fan of Nebraska, Iowa, or Iowa
State. The Huskers have as many wins as they have fired coaches (2), the Hawkeyes
offense is now being featured on milk cartons, and Iowa State lost to a Kansas program last
night that has an 80-181 record since the turn of the century (thank you Google). But I still
feel like Matt Campbell is the best coach of the bunch, so I’ll predict that ISU will finish
8-4, Nebraska will finish 5-7 and Iowa will finish 6-6. And what about our beloved Kansas
City Chiefs you ask?? I’m predicting a 12-5 regular season and a loss to the Buffalo Bills in
the conference finals.

And one more football note…make sure you check out our local East Mills Wolverines…
they are really fun to watch, are well-coached, and the boys play with class. It appears that
making the playoffs might be a long-shot, but in 8-man football, anything can happen. I
wouldn’t rule them out.

And while we’re at it…East Mills Volleyball is great once again this year, so get to a game
if you can. This team has a legit chance of going to state, and since we’ve chartered a bus
for our state teams in the past, I’ll go on the record and make the same offer again this year.
The challenge is out there ladies…the bus is waiting.

Last week NASA intentionally crashed a spacecraft into a small asteroid to determine if it
was possible to alter the path of an asteroid in the event that earth was ever threatened.
According to NASA, the blueprint for the mission was years in the making, and in their
research to figure out the best possible way to crash into an object intentionally, they
immediately contacted NASCAR driver Kyle Busch.

A couple housekeeping items before we get too deep into things: Mark your calendars for October 29th, as Malvern will be hosting its very first Trunk or Treat event in downtown Malvern. Everyone is encouraged to decorate vehicles and/or parking spaces, and then of course hand out lots of treats to the kiddos. The event runs from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. and will be accompanied by a luncheon at Classic Café, the proceeds of which will benefit the East Mills Freshman Class. Also, the fraud seminar that was to take place at Classic Café later this month has been moved to November 3rd. It will still be held at Classic Café and will go from 9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time for another homemade dad joke, courtesy of the fiber guys who were trenching across from the bank last week: Do you know why the fiber trenching guy quit?? It was a boring job…

Yeah, I know…

Speaking of fiber, Iowa’s very own Chuck Grassley is once again running for the U.S. Senate at age 89. Am I the only one who thinks his campaign slogan should be “Keep it Up, Chuck??”

Yes, I’ve waited over 10 years to get the words “Up Chuck” into this newsletter…now I can retire in peace…

Well, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that a man was recently rescued from the ocean after floating in a freezer for 11 days. The bad news is his rescuers were super hungry.

And finally, I’m going to just keep going to the well with this punchline until beer and whiskey companies figure out how to transport their products without spilling them all over the roadway…SO…. I read last week that a Florida highway was closed recently after a truck carrying a load of Coors Light tipped over and spilled its entire contents onto the highway. It was the worst thing to happen to Coors Light since the deaths of every person I’ve ever been related to…

Until Next Time…Don’t forget that October 5th is World Teacher’s Day…where would we be without the people who shaped our lives in school…seriously…thank them every chance you get…they are superheroes!!


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