Greetings!! It’s April 29th (my mom’s birthday…Marilyn would have been 85 this year) and Malvern is still picking up the pieces from what most people are calling the worst hail storm to ever hit the town. I drove into town roughly 5 minutes after the storm had passed and couldn’t believe the extent of the damage. It’s going to take months to get everything fixed, and I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around the total dollar amount of insurance checks that are going to be paid out over the next several months. $30 million?? $50 million?? $100 million?? All I know is this…I had no idea there were so many roofing companies until they all showed up the next morning.

Mark your calendars…May 4th is National 45 Day, a time for all of us music connoisseurs to remember the wonderment that surrounded the purchase of a vinyl album. Remember those?? Oh man, there was nothing better than walking into a record store, buying an album, and then hurrying home to hear it for the first time. I can’t remember the first album I ever purchased, but I do remember the first cassette I ever purchased…Kilroy Was Here by Styx. I should clarify that just a little…I purchased that cassette plus several others for the low, low price of a penny. Yes, I was a Columbia House Cassette Club Member!! Anybody else out there succumb to that little marketing gimmick?? I can’t remember the specifics, but I think you received 12 cassettes for a penny but then every month for the next year or twelve years; you had to purchase a cassette at regular price. It kind of reminded me of when I lived in Las Vegas and my friend Ed and I would find a steak buffet for $3.99 and then we’d drop $40 on the blackjack table that was conveniently placed on the way out of the casino. They always get it from you one way or another…

Speaking of Vegas…did I ever tell you about the time I got handcuffed while trying to get a vacuum?? I have a horrible memory, so forgive me if you’ve heard this, but back in the summer of 1991 Ed and I went to his law office to borrow a vacuum (we were just getting started in life…it seemed like a much more logical idea than actually buying one). Anyway, long story short, the office alarm went off and the next thing I knew I was on my knees in the middle of the street with my hands handcuffed behind my back. All I remember is Ed coming back outside with the vacuum and yelling “what are you doing on your knees??” Looking back, it’s hysterical, but that event, among many others, was the catalyst to me coming back to Iowa, again on my knees, to beg my father for a job. The country boy had finally had enough….

Iowa is now ranked 10th when it comes to the likelihood of hitting an animal while driving. Ironically, that is the same ranking that Iowa football had last year when it came to the likelihood of throwing an interception while driving.

Ok, just to keep it even…here’s one for the Hawkeye fans out there: Last month engineers for SpaceX proclaimed that a rocket launch that blew up 4 minutes into its test flight was in fact a “huge success”. Upon hearing the news, former Nebraska coach Scott Frost immediately changed the part of his resume that read “Overall record at Nebraska: 16 - 31” and updated it to “Overall record at Nebraska – not great, but I lasted longer than the rocket!!”

Wendy’s just announced that they are going to start selling its famous chili in grocery stores. And in what can only be described as brilliant cross-marketing, Pepto Bismol will now be found on the next shelf over…

So, I read an article the other day that said the girl scouts in Canada will no longer be known as brownies but will now be called Embers. Which got me thinking…can you imagine if that group was having a fireside gathering in the woods and one of them got lost?? “Ok people, we have lost one of our member Embers…her name is Amber…so we’re putting out an Amber Alert for Amber…she’s somewhere in the timber…if anyone sees our little Ember Amber in the timber, just remember…”

Yeah, that’s all I got…

​​​​​​​And finally, Cracker Barrel recently held a drawing where one lucky couple could win free food for a year…provided that the couple got engaged in a Cracker Barrel restaurant. Not to be outdone, IHOP will give away free pancakes for a year to any divorce attorney who serves papers during IHOPPY Hour…

Until Next Time… Jay