Happy December everyone! I know I say this every year, but holy cow, where did 2022 go?? I know everyone says that the years fly by even faster as you age, but come on, this is getting ridiculous. At the end of each year, I always like to go back and review some JTTW’s from earlier in the year just to refresh my memory as to what the hot topics were back then, and can you believe that it’s almost been a year since the Mulholland’s grocery store fire?? Yep, almost one year ago we were all wondering what the future of Malvern would look like without a grocery store, and I think we can all agree that Bart Simpson probably summed it up best when he said “I didn’t think it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows.” It’s human nature to take things for granted until they are taken away from us (I almost needed therapy when Classic Café closed for two weeks in November), but I can honestly say that I will never take having a grocery store or a pharmacy or a vet clinic or a golf course or a fitness center or two great restaurants or two great medical facilities for granted ever again. We are so fortunate.

So…let’s talk a little football. Are all of the Husker fans in JTTW-land happy with the football coach hire?? And does anyone think it’s a little weird that Nebraska just beat Iowa for the first time since 2014 and nobody is really talking about it?? I guess that’s what happens when you win a game on Friday and announce a new coach the very next day. That game became old news really fast, which is too bad because for three quarters the Huskers played pretty inspired football, although I’m guessing that I’m not the only Husker fan who was just waiting for them to find a way to blow that game. But they didn’t and for the first time in EIGHT years we Nebraska fans finally get to gloat just a little…

It’s been a few months since we’ve done a multiple-choice question, so here you go: A man in England recently had surgery to remove an earbud that had been lodged in his ear for five years. The man waited so long to have the device removed because A) Doctors were worried that surgery might throw off his equilibrium; B) The man’s insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery; or C) He’s married.

Is anyone watching the Jeffrey Dahmer series that is currently airing on Netflix?? And am I the only person who thinks it should actually be airing on The Food Network??

With Christmas on the horizon, I see that Miller Lite is selling a Christmas tree stand that can also be used as a beer keg. Not to be outdone, for the month of December only, AnheuserBusch will give away a year’s supply of beer to every family that baptizes their children in Bud Light.

Quick reminder: The Malvern Tour of Homes is this Saturday, December 3rd from 1-4 p.m. Wristbands can be purchased at the Malvern Public Library or at the Festival of Trees on Saturday morning. Wristbands are $15 each. This is your chance to finally see my bathroom…

Fifty-five high school students in Texas were recently informed that they might need to retake their SAT tests after their completed tests flew out of a UPS truck going down the highway. The students were notified of the mishap in a letter from the school district that read: If one UPS truck leaves the terminal at 8:00 a.m. and is driving west on the interstate at 75 miles per hour, and another UPS truck leaves the terminal at 8:10 a.m. and is also driving west on the interstate but at 80 miles per hour, do you think the 2nd UPS driver will stop and help the first driver find your SAT tests that were littered all over the interstate??

An inmate in a Kansas jail recently admitted that he smuggled contraband through a hole in his cell wall that he created by lighting hemorrhoid cream on fire, prompting the makers of Preparation H to put out a press release reminding consumers that the cream is intended to PUT OUT fires, not create them…

And finally, I recently read that Dolly Parton is coming out with her own line of dog clothing called, yep, you guessed it, Doggy Parton. And while I must admit that the name is pretty clever, I think the best part of the business plan is that you can either order the clothing online or you can actually visit any store on her Dollywood property and buy them straight off the rack.

I blame the concussions…

Until next time…have a wonderful holiday season everyone!!

Jay