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Hello everyone! Welcome to the last JTTW of 2021 and the last monthly JTTW for the foreseeable future. Yes, after over 10 years of pumping these things out on a fairly regular basis, I’ve decided that it’s time to slow down and recharge the batteries a little bit. I read an article recently that said ‘burnout’ is now being viewed as a legitimate medical diagnosis, and if that is indeed true, then whenever that vaccine comes out let me know because I’ll be first in line for a double dose. I can’t really pinpoint the primary problem, but ever since I was diagnosed with West Nile this summer (I might have forgotten to mention that to you in recent newsletters), I just haven’t been able to maintain the razor-sharp focus (yes, even I’m laughing with you on that one) that it takes to put out a newsletter that is worthy of your time. So, while I’m going to take some periodic breaks starting in 2022, don’t stop opening your bank statements, because during the JTTW off-months you will be receiving an actual REAL newsletter courtesy of the bank’s multi-talented marketing director Katelin George. Katelin already publishes a quarterly newsletter for our bank staff and I can’t wait to see what she has in store for all of you. Trust me, after receiving one of her newsletters you’ll forget what the letters JTTW even stand for… Ok, I’ve been staying pretty silent on the topic of rigged elections, but I can no longer bite my tongue, so here goes: What’s a guy have to do to win People’s Sexiest Man of the Year?? I mean seriously…I have now lost for something like 40 years in a row. Yeah, I’ve never been in a movie, and yeah, maybe my teeth aren’t straight…or white for that matter. And sure, my hair isn’t what I would call ‘plentiful’…and yes, my skin is so oily that my dog Daisy will lick every inch of my face just to clean her tongue before she starts licking herself…and sure, if I wear just the right sweatshirt I’ll get so much lint in my belly button that my wife will issue a household burning ban…good lord, where was I even going with this?? I’m writing this particular paragraph about 15 minutes after the Husker/Hawkeye game and I must say, on the positive side, if there has ever been a better 9-loss team in the history of college football, I can’t think of who that might be. It’s absolutely crazy to think that Nebraska lost every single game by single digits, but that is what happens when you have a loser’s mentality. Even at 21-6, everyone knew who was going to win the game. Was Iowa a better team?? I think that’s debatable, but what’s not debatable is the fact that Iowa expects to beat the Huskers every year and they always find ways to do it. Winning is a habit, plain and simple. Speaking of the Huskers, I recently read that, unlike primates, which use screams to communicate only anger and fear, humans scream in at least six emotional dimensions: anger, fear, pain, pleasure, sadness and delight. Now, while I wasn’t there to witness it, I have to assume that Husker fans utilized each and every one of these screams in just the 4th quarter of last week’s game. An Idaho man recently set a Guinness World Record for the fastest 100-yard dash time while juggling blindfolded. The record-breaking attempt was filmed for an upcoming episode of ESPN’s new “Ringling Brothers: Where Are They Now?” series. An Australian man was recently arrested for not having a license to operate his motorized cooler. “Man, even we know that you can’t drive your motorized cooler without a license” said every NASCAR fan ever… A cow that escaped a slaughterhouse in Connecticut was recently caught after 8 months on the run and is now living out the rest of its life in New Jersey. The capture took longer than expected, however, once the cow realized it was headed for a life in New Jersey it immediately tried to escape back to the slaughterhouse… And finally, although I’ve gone to this well once before, I read a story last week that requires a repeat of a punchline that I used a couple years ago. So, if you’ve already heard it, I apologize: Did you read about the Jack Daniels delivery truck that overturned in Tennessee last week, resulting in over $400k worth of whiskey being spilled onto the interstate?? Yeah, it was the worst thing to happen to Jack Daniels since the deaths of every person I’ve ever been related to… Until Next Time…it’s supposed to be in the 60’s and 70’s to start your December, so make it a point to get outside and enjoy everything that global warming has to offer.


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