Jay to the World December 2020

Vince Lombardi once said “Winning is not a sometime thing. It’s an all-the-time thing. You
don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all
the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing”.

Anybody want to guess what I just got done doing?? Yep, the Hawkeye/Husker game ended
earlier today and I remember reading this quote from years ago and I think it fits perfectly
into what went down in Iowa City today. I said it after last year’s game and I’ll say it again
– right now Iowa has a winning mentality in place and they expect to win every game. Even
when they don’t win, it’s not because they were outcoached or not prepared properly.
Sometimes you just lose. But right now Nebraska has a loser’s mentality. When I was
watching them on their final drive, there was not one part of me that thought they were
going to score and win the game. Yes, I was watching intently, but with zero expectations.
That is what happens when, as Coach Lombardi said, losing becomes a habit. I still think
the Huskers have the right coach in place, and I do think that they can become relevant
again. But do I think Nebraska can regain their place at the top of the college football
hierarchy alongside Alabama and Clemson and Ohio State?? Not a chance. Those days are
over.

One final thought on the Husker/Hawkeye game: What did everybody think of the whole
clapping drama?? I didn’t think it was a big deal but I thought Coach Ferentz’s excuse that
he was just trying to turn on the stadium lights was a little flimsy …..

Did you hear that Nike is coming out with a line of maternity clothing?? The slogan is
going to be “Just Did It”.

After confessing last month that I don’t even take the time to change my daily desk calendar,
I took it upon myself last week to go into my cell phone and I deleted over 2,000 (2,000!!)
pictures. Granted, most of them were pictures of food, pictures of me eating food, pictures
of the dog playing, pictures of the dog sleeping on my lap, and pictures of clothing that most
likely were accompanied by a text message that read “what do you think??” (yes, getting
dressed in today’s world apparently now requires outside counsel). Anyway, just keeping
you updated on my organizational progress and to let you know that my Onion calendar is
now on September 18th with the headline “Nutritionists Recommend 3-4 Daily Servings of
Anything That’s About To Go Bad.”

In financial news, the stock market recently topped 30,000 for the first time. Do you know
what this means?? Yeah, me neither…

It was announced last month that the song Baby Shark is now the #1 all-time viewed video
on YouTube. I thought this was interesting because I also read last month that two detention
officers and their supervisor were charged with mistreating inmates at an Oklahoma county
jail after forcing them to listen to the song over and over again. For comparison purposes,
this is sort of like when my college roommate literally hid my Barry Manilow Greatest Hits
cassette because he couldn’t take listening to it any longer. Like anyone could hate Barry
Manilow…that guy is a legend! Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…yeah, you’ll be
humming that one for a while now. As always, you’re welcome.

Speaking of Barry Manilow, in an act of desperation a few weeks ago I actually watched
“The Breakfast Club” on my Spanish channel and I can safely report that the phrase “Does
Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe” is just as funny in Spanish as it is in
English. If you haven’t seen it, YouTube it.

Electric carmaker Tesla is coming out with their own brand of tequila, making them the first
American company to produce two completely different products that after 4 hours of use
will leave you on the side of the road phoning a friend to come get you.

A recent study showed that 47 percent of millennials won’t date anyone who refuses to
recycle. Boy, times sure have changed. When I was in college my only rule was to not date
anyone whose ex-boyfriend owned a gun…

In a fun tradition that goes back decades, the people of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky have elected
a French Bulldog named Wilbur Beast as the town’s new mayor. “Like that’s a real thing”,
said Mayor McCheese.

And finally, your (ele)Pun of the Month: I recently read that elephants lack the genetic
mutation necessary to process alcohol and that when they eat fermented marula fruit (which
is used to make beer), it can actually cause the elephants to become intoxicated. In a related story, zoos across the country have reported a sharp increase in reports of trunk driving.

Until Next Time…Speaking of elephants, I know I’m not addressing the big one in the
room because I’m not quite sure how to handle that topic right now. So let me just wish
everyone a safe and healthy end to 2020 and I promise I’ll come up with a fun way to
handle our political scene in January. Take care everyone!!

Jay