Jay to the World December 2019

I admit that I’m in a little bit of a sappy mood this morning (November 25th). It’s Thanksgiving week and I know I’ve said this before, but I want all of you reading this to know how much I enjoy doing this newsletter and how much I appreciate your feedback, whether that feedback is positive or not-so positive. I love getting your emails, your phone calls, your texts, or like this morning, when a customer met me coming in the front door and told me that he looks forward to receiving JTTW each month. This bank would be nothing without all of you because you have choices…lots of choices…when it comes to banking and your loyalty is amazing. I wish my dad was around to see how far we’ve come as a bank and as a town but I’m pretty sure he’s looking down on us (or up…trust me that could have gone either way) with a smile. So thank you, thank you, thank you for trusting us to be your bank and thanks for taking the time each month to read this newsletter. You’re the best.

Ok, my sappy mood has subsided after watching the Huskers lose again to Iowa. By the way, if anyone is wondering what the difference is between a program with a winning mentality and a program with a losing mentality: A winning program doesn’t sit on the ball with 40 seconds remaining and take their chances with overtime. They go for the win. Well done, Hawkeyes. (P.S. – Didn’t I predict a 9-3 season for the Hawks?? We’ll forget my Husker prediction….)

I’ve seen many a harvest seasons in my life but to steal one of President Trump’s favorite words, this harvest season has been close to PERFECT. It might have started a little late, but our farmers have had terrific weather over the past 6 weeks and from what I can tell driving around the county, it appears that the harvest is 90 percent complete. I’ve been told that the yield numbers are really good this year so everyone keep your fingers crossed for some price movements (up is always my first choice) and some tariff talks.

I’m sure most of you have seen the video from Florida (where else, right?) of the dog that was left alone in a car and somehow shifted the car in reverse, causing the vehicle to do reverse donuts for an hour?? Yeah, it’s the first-ever case of a dog chasing its tailpipe.

According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, 16 spotted cows recently broke out of their corral, wandered for over a mile and ended up at a brewing company that makes the famous “Spotted Cow” beer. When hearing this, the owners of the Horny Toad Bar and Grill at the Lake of the Ozarks immediately went on high alert.

And now your biblical pun of the month: A camel, a cow, and a donkey were recently found lost on a Kansas road. It would have made more sense if they were on an Arkansas road. No??

Steven Wright Quote of the Month: “If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then somebody, somewhere is making a penny”.

For the first time ever, a cheese produced in the United States has been named the best in the world. Now this is just a guess, but I have to assume that this result is most likely the byproduct of the decades of free advertising that we Americans have been giving the cheese industry during our countless family photo sessions.

An 82-year-old female bodybuilder from Rochester, New York recently fought off a home intruder by pouring shampoo in his face and beating him with a broom. When hearing this, Mr. Clean immediately asked the woman to dinner.

Quick subdivision update: I have people ask me all the time how things are going out at the golf course subdivision, so I thought I’d take a moment to let everyone know that the final infrastructure piece is currently underway (CenturyLink fiber) and as of today we’ve sold 12 of the 32 available lots. If you haven’t seen the subdivision, I encourage you to take a drive out there or at least check out the cool video at www.fairviewhillsestates.com.

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about the Iowa man who is arguing that his life sentence in prison should be immediately voided due to the fact that paramedics had to revive him multiple times after he suffered a heart attack 4 years ago. I don’t know, that argument seems a little flimsy to me and will just lead to copycat situations. I can just imagine someone being revived after a heart attack and telling their spouse “hey honey, remember that whole ‘until death do us part’ thing”?? Mission accomplished!!

Speaking of heart issues, 76-year-old Mick Jagger is back touring with The Rolling Stones less than 6 months after heart valve replacement surgery. As a precaution, each concert venue is now required to have paramedics ready just in case. This led to some confusion at a recent concert when he started singing “Start Me Up” and medical personnel immediately ran out on stage with a defibrillator.

This month in relationship news: Studies show that your sleep position says a lot about the nature of your relationship with your spouse. For instance, if you both sleep on opposite sides of the bed facing away from each other, that means you’re growing apart. If you sleep back to back with any part of your bodies touching each other, that means you appreciate the other person’s independence. And, of course, if you sleep in separate beds in separate bedrooms, that means that you both live in the real world and just want 6 hours of peace and quiet in your lives. Or so I’m told…

After finding out that smugglers have been cutting through his border wall using $100 saws, President Trump admitted that “you can cut through anything”. Tell me about it. I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the past 3 years….

And finally, New York City, in an attempt to decrease a rat population that is estimated to be over 2 million, has begun using a device that traps the rats and then drowns them in alcohol. It’s basically the rodent version of “Rush Week”.

Until Next Time…enjoy your final month of the decade everyone. Next stop…2020!!!
Jay

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