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Jay to the World: August 2018

Sorry for the shortened version of this month’s newsletter – I’ve been busy taking an online class titled “How to Be Sarcastic While Speaking Russian”.

Well, I finally caved – this is my first newsletter that I’ve typed while wearing reading glasses and I must say that these letters sure do look big!! I’m not going to make a commitment or anything, but I see no reason why I wouldn’t wear these things every day for the rest of my life. Or do I see no reason why I WOULD wear these things every day for the rest of my life. Boy, that’s a real thinker.

Speaking of our President’s mastery of the English language, it made me think of my ALL-TIME, NUMBER ONE pet peeve: when you are arguing with someone and you tell them that “you COULD care less”, that means you care. If you don’t care, then you need to say “I COULDN’T care less”. As always, you’re welcome.

I do have to give Mr. Trump some credit. He did promise our farmers that if his tariffs resulted in a decrease in the price of corn and beans he would step in and “make it up to them”, which he did recently by announcing a $12 billion subsidy until the markets stabilize. I commend the President for keeping his word, but it’s a good thing we’re winning the trade war, because I’d hate to think how much this would be costing if we were actually losing.

A recent conversation I had with my son: Hey Beau, you need to get off the iPad because you have done nothing all day. Uh dad, what do you call breathing?? Listening?? Talking to you right now?? I may have met my match.

I recently read that Chick-Fil-A is offering free food for life to a baby who was born in one of their restaurants. In a related story, although he never mentioned it, I’m starting to wonder if my father was born in the Anheuser-Busch brewery.

Beau and I were driving down the interstate near the Bellevue exit a few weeks ago when he asked me how long it would be before we got home. Now we all know that it’s roughly 20 minutes from that exit to Malvern because we’ve made that trip thousands of times. Of course, I told him that it would only be 10 minutes because I was hoping he would stop asking. At that point he asked me for my phone and proceeded to start the timer to see if I was lying to him. Yep, did I mention that I think I’ve met my match??

One of my employees (ok, all of them) have started to wonder why I don’t interject some actual banking stuff into this column, so here you go: We are actively pursuing new deposits (checking accounts, savings accounts, money market accounts, CD’s) so if you or anyone you know is interested in hearing what we have to offer, don’t hesitate to reach out to me directly and I’ll point everyone in the right direction.

And finally, I recently read that a 92-year old woman killed her son because he wanted to put her in a nursing home. In a related story, if you’ll excuse me, I have to scurry off to the assisted living facility to steal my mother’s mail before she sees this.

Until Next Time…. Jay

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